I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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