Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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