Buhtt sex?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
