You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
