Having a random hookup so left but love u
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
