someone get that fucking seahorse.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Randomize
