I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
50% drunk capacity currently
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
