Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
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