This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
