Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
