He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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