As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
