Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
