that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
