They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
