I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
