3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
we made out on top of his cat.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
