I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Everything about him screamed your future.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Randomize
