Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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