Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
