I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
