just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
