Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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