What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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