Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
