My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
We talked him into tasing himself.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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