For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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