How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
