STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
