Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
you didnt know i had herpes?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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