im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
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