girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
