She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
