Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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