you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
