his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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