you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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