the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
