dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Randomize
