My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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