I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
