I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Just pee around me
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
