Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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