he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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