I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
