im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
