I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
