Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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