MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
