Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
