ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
