They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
being pregnant is like rehab
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
