Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
